Loving Unconditionally

It can't be said any more simply.  Unconditional means "no conditions", it means that the love you get is real.  When you care about the happiness of another, without thinking about what you will gain in return, that's true and unconditional love.

  KJ @ KJ-isms

Love

Unplugged for a better LIFE

When I start up my computer each day and go to the internet, the last thing I want to see is depressing news. While most people may have CNN, Fox News, MSNBC, or the like, I have my homepage set to:

http://www.dailygood.org

With all the 'fake' news stories and twists/spins that the mass media puts into the mainstream news, I find Daily Good to be a breath of fresh air. So, I don't get to see who hates who, who is hurting who, instead I get a big dose of who loves who. You get to choose what is allowed to enter your mind and life, choose goodness.

Another source of goodness is: http://richardbach.com

If you haven't read any of his books, you have done yourself a disservice.  His books are uplifting, enlightening, as well as, an enjoyable read.  Quoting Richard, “There are millions of beliefs, but only one reality. Happiness and disaster, riches and loss, everything in space and time shifts and changes. It may take us a lifetime to find that the only reality is Love. Love does not exist on any map, nor does it exist for any clock. Love can be express in all our beliefs, yet it can not be reduced or limited. Always love has been, ever will it be.”

What powerful words and thoughts he has given to all of us. Is it any wonder so many have said his writings have changed their lives for the better!

Love is all there is.    KJ @ KJ-isms

 

Appreciation - Goes a long way

Appreciate all those who helped to get you where you are. No person gets anywhere alone. It's easy to go about one's life, enjoying all the progress and happy times, yet forget that we didn't do it all by ourselves. Think about any good situation in your life and ask yourself, how did I get there and who helped make it happen. Appreciate, thank and acknowledge those who gave you a hand up so that you could be successful. It's important for you and it's important for them, too.   KJ @ KJ-isms  (2017)

 

Tolerance

Tolerance – people, more than ever today, want tolerance, but they want it for what they believe, not what others believe. They seem to want to get tolerance, ...but they have no desire to give any tolerance. Tolerance is a two-way street (I’ve said it before, but it’s worth repeating). We will never all be the same, we will never all think the same and we need to understand what that really means. Compromise and learning to live with our differences, it’s not really that hard. What Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “We must learn to live together as brothers, or perish together as fools” was the truth. And he was talking about the human race, but were we listening?

I have lived my life trying to not offend anyone, seriously I have and in years past, it seemed to be much easier to accomplish. Today, it seems impossible to go a day without offending at least one person. And even if by chance, I offend no one, it’s impossible to not witness, on a daily basis, someone being offended by another’s opinion. Why? Maybe we could blame it on social media and how totally connected we are in every moment of our life. Perhaps we weren’t any more tolerant in years gone by, perhaps we just didn’t see it as frequently, thus we weren’t as bothered by other’s opinions.

Ask yourself, do you really try to see the other person’s point of view before you get offended. Ask yourself, what could possibly make them think that way. Try to understand that we are all standing and looking at every issue with different biases (yes, even you) and that while someone may not agree with how you see it, keep in mind that you also don’t agree with how they see it. You want tolerance from them for your opinions, causes and beliefs, but do you give them the same tolerance for theirs? If not, why not?

Just because someone has an opinion, that does not match with your opinion, it does not mean they are wrong and you are right. Of course, it does not mean that they are right and you are wrong, either. It just means we all think differently and every person (in their opinion) has valid reasons for thinking what they do (or they wouldn’t think it!).

Just maybe, there are times we need to meet in the middle, stop standing in our separate corners yelling and screaming at the opposition, as if they were our enemy. There is an old saying, goes way, way back, “You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar”. Well, it is still true today. If what you intend to accomplish, is having someone see your side, yelling and cursing at them just isn’t going to do it! KJ @ KJ-isms   (2017)

Death, why don't we talk about it?

I wrote this on my personal facebook page regarding the recent death of my husband and how it’s been for me these last few months, “if I can get others to talk about death with their significant other and be more aware of what they may face down the road, than it was worth sharing how my journey goes. As others have said, it truly is an individual journey and no two are the same. But, I think having the conversations while both are still here would make that road a little lighter for the one left behind.”

And my good friend asked, “any guidance on how to start this conversation and what to say?”

Here are my thoughts.

Throughout this time of grieving I have often thought about how we don’t prepare ourselves. We all know that, one day, we will find ourselves facing this, but yet we don’t talk about it. We talk about life, we talk about birth, we talk about everything under the sun, but we avoid any discussion about death. And if you are one who tries to talk about death, you probably get the “don’t be morbid” lecture. At least we avoid it as much as possible, or we wait until one happens and we have to talk about it. The strange thing is, that from the moment we are born, we begin the dying process. Dying is as much a part of living, as being born. No one escapes it, let’s talk about it!

If you are a part of a loving relationship, where each of you consider yourselves to be “soulmates” or each other’s “other half”, the chances are that one will pass before the other. It is rare that two will pass at the same time. So, one of you will lose that “other half”. How will life be without your other half there to comfort, to talk with and to share everything with?
When my husband passed away, it quickly dawned on me that I had spent the rest of his life with him, but that he would not be spending the rest of my life with me (which was the plan!). And while we did make wills and we talked about what each should do, if something were to happen to the other, we did not talk about how it would be for the one left behind or what we thought about it all. Create a will? Check! Funeral arrangements, or none? Check! Services or none? Check! How to dispose of the remains? Check! How life will be for the one still on earth? Nada!

So, why is it that we don’t talk about it? I’ve even tried to talk to my friends about the most minimal of death things, creating a will and I just get avoidance or resistance. Most likely because to talk about creating a will, one must think or talk about death. The subject that we would all most like to avoid, but cannot avoid it actually taking place. And I am not talking about “how” it will happen, because actually how it takes place does not matter. What matters is how will life be for the one left here.

Would it be comforting to know what your significant other's desires are for you, if you should be the person left behind? I think so. I know we could all generalize what a person would “want” for another, but it’s not the same as a discussion for those actually involved. A simple statement like, “You know I am going to miss you terribly when you are gone”, might start a conversation. Or, “if I should pass before you, I hope that you will continue to enjoy life for as long as you live”, might be nice to hear. Starting a conversation can be as simple as saying, “you know that the likelihood is that we will not both die at the same time, maybe we could talk about our feelings about that.” You might be surprised what the other has to say (or not). We discuss all our big decisions and situations in life, shouldn’t we talk about the biggest situation to come? We talk about the beginning, we talk about the middle, shouldn’t we talk about the end?

I know that approaching the subject at all, is not easy. But I think it is important enough that everyone at least try. Being the one “left behind” is hard, it’s painful and it will be the worst time in your life. Some of the little things that have comforted me have been the notes, cards and little letters that my husband left behind (thankfully, I have lots of those). But how much better would it have been had we merely just talked about our feelings about life after death for the one left here? I think it would have been infinitely better. So, my suggestion to you, is just try to have those conversations now, while you can, because you never know when you will not have that option.    KJ @ KJ-isms

Education leads to understanding. Understanding leads to tolerance. Tolerance leads to acceptance.  KJ 

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