Understanding the people in your world
As far back in my history as I can see, and it goes way back, I have always been a social follower and not a social leader. I’m comfortable with that!
The only thing that matters. Being happy. Happy with who you are is the only thing that matters.
Why is it that some people believe that “single” people are lonely? It has been over a year since my husband passed from this world to the next and I’ve thought (and other’s have said) that I have to get “out” more, meet people… heck TRAVEL! Why? Do they think that I am lonely? Do I think I am lonely because they think I am?
Is it possible that some people are just not social beings? I believe that we have social “leaders” and social “followers”. If I am invited somewhere, I will usually go. But, rarely (ok honest, never) do I plan or organize social gatherings. Is it just that I am a social “follower” and not a social “leader”? I do believe that a large portion of people are social followers.
If you know some social followers, you know who they are. They will attend whatever they are invited to attend, but never “host” an outing, adventure or party. Heck, even calling a friend and saying, “Let’s do lunch” is not in the social follower’s vocabulary.
Why is it that so many people feel the need to push themselves (or others) out of their comfort zones? What is wrong with knowing what you are comfortable with and sticking to that area? Isn’t comfort a key part of happiness?
Please do not think that the social followers in your circle don’t care. They do. Just because they are not initiators of the “fun” times, does not mean that they do not care or do not want to socialize with you. They are just not fun “starters”. They actually enjoy the parties and times together, too.
Now don’t get me wrong, we are not all social leaders OR social followers. Some people are both.
It is important for good relationships to understand these different qualities we possess and to accept what / who others are. There is a basic nature in us all that keeps each of us “comfortable”. There is something for everyone and when we come together (like pieces of a puzzle) we each bring our unique piece to the whole.
There is no sense in trying to make a “leader” into a follower, or a “follower” into a leader. No more than you can try to tell the person who does both, that they must only be a leader or only be a follower. It just won’t work. We are who we are.
So, the key here is knowing which you are (check your comfort level), which type your friends are and enjoy what you (they) bring to the table. It’s ok for you to just be you.
Lately, I have been feeling “stuck” and I realized today that I was trying to be/do something that is just not me. And I felt that there must be something wrong with me, since a lot of people seemed to know what I “should” be doing, or what I want/need, yet I couldn’t go there or do that. So, today I realized that there is nothing wrong with me. I am not missing or needing a thing. I am just me, being me, a social follower.
To the social leaders out there, please keep being you and keep “inviting” us. Just try to understand, we probably will not be calling you, or hosting events. It's nothing to do with you, it's just not in us (the followers). But, we truly do appreciate YOU! KJ @ KJ-isms