It's ok to be sad, right?

Sometimes, I think I am the strongest person and the weakest person I know.   It's ok to be sad, right?

It can be really hard not being a social person.   Sitting here, I realize that most of my life the "social" part was forced.   Not that I had to force it, just that I was social because I was working.  That in itself causes a person to be somewhat social.  Now, that I am retired and no work life, social has pretty much gone out the window.  I've had to admit to myself that I am not, naturally a social being.  Being a widow means that I spend a lot of my hours alone. Life sure can throw curve balls sometimes. Too much time to think, perhaps.  Even though I have a lot of family, it is not the same as having that life partner who shares your everything.  That someone who listens to you because they love you and you don't have to be that strong person when you don't feel it.  Because they are there to lean on.  I don't think that we were meant to be alone.  But sadly, sometimes being alone is the only option.

Life isn't always good, even when, to all outward appearances, one's life doesn't have many problems.   Not that I want any problems, but a problem free life doesn't mean it's always a happy life or that one is happy in the moment.  I do spend some time on social media.   Not that I would call that being social, but it seems to be the way people connect these days.  For all the people on social media, even it can feel like a lonely place.

It's ok to cry, we all do at times.  Well, I do anyway.  And I just need to convince myself that I am fine.

I just feel guilty for feeling sad or feeling sorry for myself.  Most the time, I am a fairly positive and upbeat person.  That's probably why I beat myself up when I feel that I am being neither of those (even if it's only briefly).   I guess we are all hardest on ourselves.  

For most of my life, I've been the strong person for others.  The shoulder, the comforter, the sounding board, the listening ear and the one to cheer them up and onward.  It's probably why I find it very difficult to ask anyone for anything.  If I am so good at that for others, it seems I should be able to do the same for myself.

I know I will figure it all out and tomorrow I'll be fine.  But, for today I just want to feel my sadness and cry.

The bottom line is that it is ok to be unhappy.  It is ok to cry and it is ok to be sad.  And it is ok to say it, too.  Because tomorrow is a new day and things will look brighter.  But tonight just feels cloudy and cold.

So if you are sad, unhappy or just lonely... I want you to know, I am right there with you.  



Good guy, Bad guy

While reading Zero Dean's book, “Lessons Learned from The Path Less Traveled”, I had an epiphany! Sometimes we are the good guy and sometimes we are the bad guy.
And it’s ok.
There are a lot of lessons in life that come out of bad experiences or situations. I’ve even heard it said that we will learn the most from our bad experiences. So, was the person who took credit for someone else’s work a “bad” guy? Or was he an angel doing the job of pushing that person to make a change? Only the person experiencing that can truly answer.
I will go out on a limb and say he was a good guy. There are times in life when we get nudges, instincts or gut feelings (if you will) and we ignore them. I do believe that we all have a “guardian angel” or higher power that will try to help us find and stay on our chosen life path. When we ignore those nudges and gut feelings, we need more than a nudge. We need a shove! That guy, taking credit for another’s work, may have appeared (at the time) to be someone bad, but he also might have been the shove one needed.
What’s happening in one’s life, whether perceived as “good” or “bad”, is all in how you look at it. And sometimes we can only see clearly when we are looking in the rear view mirror.  KJ @ KJ-isms
For information on the book mentioned, click the link below!

Opinions are like...

There are a lot of opinions out there. It seems the internet and social media has brought many of those opinions out in the open. But honestly, not one opinion is more important than your own. That’s right. Your opinion is the most valuable, because it’s your opinion that you act upon.

Not celebrity, not wealth, not notoriety makes an opinion more valid or true. It is only valid and true, if it is your opinion. Even if you agree with what another has to say, it’s more likely than not, that you probably don’t agree with everything that person says.

We are unique, with unique thoughts. That’s what makes us all awesome. Now more than any other time in history, we have the platform to voice our own opinion. Speak up, let your voice be heard!  KJ @ KJ-isms



I found the weapon that causes us the most pain!  And it wasn’t what I thought it would be.  I guess it only makes sense that the one thing that gives us the most joy, would be the one thing that could give us the most pain.  What took me so long to figure it out?


That’s right, love is our most powerful weapon.  Nothing else will hurt someone so much, as when love is being withheld from them. 

I try, as much as possible, to give unconditional love.  That merely means that I require nothing of the people that I love.  I don’t have expectations of receiving anything in return when I give my love.  Does that mean I don’t desire something in return? Of course not.  We are all here to get and give love.  It’s natural that when you give your love to someone, you hope that it will be returned to you.  That is not always the case, but continue to love them anyway.


There are times when love is used (perhaps unintentionally, perhaps intentionally) as a weapon.  It takes more love, compassion and caring to love someone who has hurt you, than it does to love someone who has not.  Don’t let the pain you may be feeling, over their lack of showing love, cause you to withdraw your love, too.

Different people are in our lives to give us the opportunity to be generous, to be kind, to be understanding, to be nurturing, to be courageous, to be forgiving, to be sympathetic and to be loved. Some people are in our lives to give us the opportunity to learn, so that we may teach others.


Every person is a sum of all their parts. Not just the parts with which you agree or accept. If you want people to love and accept you for all that you are, you must love and accept others for all that they are, too.


Love isn’t easy, Life isn’t easy. Both Love and Life can be very rewarding when we give our love without expectations of receiving in return. You can decide how to live your life, who to spend your life with and you are the only person who can do that. Love yourself unconditionally and you will be able to love others in the same way.


 KJ @ KJ-isms

Old songs, new lessons

   Listening to old songs.  Songs that shaped my teen years, but did I ever really hear what those song said?  Do lessons only get learned when it appears it's too late?

I close my eyes, only for a moment, and the moment's gone

  That is how moments go.  They are here and gone in a blink of an eye. What did you do in that moment?

All my dreams pass before my eyes, a curiosity

  Dreams.  Those illusive images that drift through our sleeping minds…

Dust in the wind

All they are is dust in the wind

Same old song, just a drop of water in an endless sea

  Songs, words and thoughts that have all been sung before, all have been said before and all have been thought before…  and will forever more…

All we do crumbles to the ground though we refuse to see

Dust in the wind

All we are is dust in the wind

   History.  Does it really teach us?  Do we really listen and do we really learn?  

Oh, ho, ho

Now, don't hang on, nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky

It slips away

And all your money won't another minute buy

  You can gather all the riches of this world, but those riches will be left behind when you go. And as the song goes, all those riches won’t buy you one more minute here.

Everything is dust in the wind

The wind

   All we leave behind, crumbles to the ground, except one thing.   Love.   Love stays.  If you have to leave anything behind, leave love everywhere you go. 


Songwriters: Kerry Livgren / Kerry A Livgren

Dust in the Wind lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

Christmas and the Giving Time of Year

A reminder about what is really important this time of year (and any time of year)! Thank you Jeffrey, for your words of wisdom. 

This time of the year can be particularly hard on some people, it can be financially, emotionally, and physically draining.

For anyone that goes through this, I wish for you peace of mind.

May your holidays be filled with those you love and your heart content with what you have, as well as what you are able to give.

Please remember that the best gifts you can ever give cost 0 $.

Give your kindness, love, loyalty, friendship, respect...

and I promise that the gift you get in return will be more satisfying than any material object.

Merry Christmas, Jeffrey


 KJ @ KJ-isms

Education leads to understanding. Understanding leads to tolerance. Tolerance leads to acceptance.  KJ 


Contact Me

We have 331 guests and no members online