Miscellaneous Thoughts for the day

We all look at situations with our own set of biases. But rarely do we try to look at any situation from the other persons point of view. We are so convinced that we are right and they must be wrong. WRONG!   KJ

 

For the most part, it doesn't really matter what the truth is. What matters most is what you believe the truth to be. And that can, at times, be the furthest from the truth.  KJ

 

The biggest regrets in life won’t be what you imagine they would be. It won't be not getting the job you wanted, that awesome car or girl/boy of your dreams. And it won't be what you thought you could accomplish, but didn't. The biggest regrets will be when you remember a time that you were unkind to another human being. A time when you could have chosen a kind gesture or response, but didn't. And yes, I remember times that I was unkind and will regret those times.... always. And the worst part is that one can never take them back or make them right. One can only change how they handle new situations that will come. A choice to make someone happy and glad that they met you, instead of sad.  KJ

Friends, Partners and Loves

In life, we find friends, partners and loves.  What is often the hardest thing to do, is accept them as they are.  We want them to be what we want them to be.   That is most often, not what we get.  Too often we expect certain behaviors from others, even while we expect them to accept us for who we are.  We aren’t perfect, they aren’t perfect, either.  Accepting your friends, partners and loves for who they are and not what we wished they were, is how relationships last.   It’s the corner stone of unconditional love. 

Relationships are hard.  That’s the reality.  But one might ask themselves if life “with” your less than perfect friend, partner or love is better or worse.   How would life be without that person in your life?  Better or worse? Only you can decide which it would be.  Remember, you cannot change who they are or how they behave, you can only change what you are willing to accept in your life.  If you decide to accept them as they are, then truly accept it and remove expectations from your thoughts.

Above all, be honest with yourself when deciding what you can and cannot live with from friends, partners and loves.   KJ @ KJ-isms

I like being Old - Author Unknown

Sharing a good one found on the internet.  I do not know who the author is, or I would give credit.  But, this is still worth sharing.   KJ @ KJ-isms

The other day a young person asked me how I felt about being old.

I was taken aback, for I do not think of myself as old. Upon seeing my reaction, she was immediately embarrassed, but I explained that it was an interesting question, and I would ponder it, and let her know.

Old age, I decided, is a gift. I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometimes despair over my body - the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror, but I don't agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.

I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avant garde on my patio. I am entitled to overeat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging. Whose business is it if I choose to read until 4:00 AM, and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60's and 70's, and if I at the same time wish to weep over a lost love, I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the bikini set.  I'll smile silently to myself for they, too, will grow old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten - and I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when a beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

I can say "no", and mean it. I can say "yes", and mean it.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become.

I am not going to live forever (on earth), but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be.

And I shall eat dessert (first) every single day.

Addictions, Obsessions and YOU

If you aren’t sure if you have an addiction or obsession to something (anything really), you just need to ask yourself a few questions.  Addictions can happen to anyone and the addiction can be to anything, for example drugs, drinking, smoking, gaming, gambling, shopping, etc.

  1. If you are out with friends, but you are thinking about getting home so you can indulge in your addiction, you have an addiction.
  2. In addition, you may notice that you may have angry outbursts and are more volatile or unpredictable, when you are separated from the source of the addition.
  3. You may be inattentive and not follow through on assignments or obligations on time or at all.
  4. You may feel melancholy (sad), lack of motivation and depressed.
  5. You may be unlikely to admit that what you are addicted to is a problem at all.
  6. If others mention to you that they believe you have a problem with addiction, but you overly object or deny that there is any issue, it’s a problem.
  7. If you have a decreased ability or interest in forming meaningful connections with others; and find yourself limiting your social sphere to others who have the same addiction.
  8. You may be sacrificing time spent in meaningful, life enriching activities in order to engage in addictive behaviors. Meaningful, life-enriching activities are of two basic types: 1) Love: time spent in relationships with others, and 2) Work/School: time spent being productive including employment, learning, working on personal projects, volunteering, and helping others. Time is a limited resource. When time is increasingly spent pursuing an addiction, it limits the amount of time available to devote to these two basic human activities.

As an addicted person, you may gradually lose your moral compass, you may begin to disrespect the rights and needs of other people. You may even mistreat the people that matter to you the most. This begins by failing to meet certain responsibilities, commitments, or obligations. Examples of these failures might be: failing to show up for things; becoming dishonest by failing to disclose information; or making excuses rather than making a sincere apology. This type of disregard will evolve into more obvious forms of disrespect and mistreatment as addiction progresses. This progression might include flat-out lying and deception; stealing from loved ones; and threatening these same people if their demands are not met. You may start to experience feelings of guilt and self-loathing as you break your own moral code. 

It does not matter what you may be addicted to, whether is it drugs, food, smoking, gaming, gambling, etc. It is the addiction itself, the fact that it runs your life, that is harmful to you.  Although some addictions cause physical harm, other can cause you emotional harm.  When an addiction controls your life, it is harmful to you.  Most addicts will say that they can stop whenever they want, which is one of the first lies an addict will tell.  You may believe you can stop “anytime you want”, but you will say that you don’t want to stop.   In reality, you cannot stop.  That is what addiction is.

Your question could be, is your life better with “it” or without “it”? Does that which you obsess over, help you to be the best you that you can be? Only you can answer that.    KJ @ KJ-isms

Let it Go

Let go of past hurts, past conflicts and past arguments. Let go of all the things that anger you. Let go of feelings of jealousy or feelings that you were taken advantage of. Let them all go and set yourself free.  KJ @ KJ-isms

 

 

Being the Best Me

I try to be the best me, every day.  I don’t always succeed.  I haven’t always succeeded in the past.   I always try.  I don’t get it right all the time and probably get it wrong more often than I even know.   I always try.

It’s the little things you do that add up to big things.  

Just a few of the simple ways I try to be the best me.

I try to promote and cheer on others who are trying to be their best.  When I go out to eat, I buy other’s lunches/dinners (anonymously of course).   When I get change at a store, I leave the change outside (somewhere near the door) so others who could use it more will find it.   I smile at people that I encounter in my daily life.   Driving in my car, I try to remember that everyone on the road is trying to get somewhere, too.  I don’t get impatient when others are trying to get there first or faster.   I will hold the door for anyone coming in behind me.   When I read a book that I love and think that others might enjoy it too, I buy extra copies to give away. I say thank you, when someone does something kind for me.

Little things, I know.  But again, little things add up to the big things.

Appreciate, smile, say thank you, give others a pass, you never know what is happening in their life.

There will always be people in the world that seem to have it better than you.  There will always be people in the world that seem to have it worse than you, too.  Believe me, this is the same for everyone, not just you or me.   Given the opportunity to walk in anyone else’s shoes, you will quickly find that your own shoes fit you best.

Be grateful for who you are, what you are, where you are in life and the gifts you can share with others.  

I’ve said it before, giving to others is the best gift we can give to ourselves.   KJ @ KJ-isms

 

 

 

Education leads to understanding. Understanding leads to tolerance. Tolerance leads to acceptance.  KJ 

 

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